Oprah and Me

I just discovered how awesome Oprah is, and she's leaving me. Ok, I'm not the only one who's going to be effected by her absence every weekday at 4 pm, but I JUST started appreciating her bits of wisdom and advice! Ugh. I might be the only middle aged white woman who hasn't been watching Oprah on a daily basis, for the last 25 years. OMG, I just called myself middle aged. Bleh, that's another post, for another day....lol.

For Example, today was the day she discussed what she learned by doing the show. She reviewed things that she learned from Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Maya Angelou, Special Every day guests, etc...And then she started talking about this young lady (her name escapes me) who suffered with the eating disorder, anorexia. Tracy Gold (from Growing Pains fame) was telling the young woman that she had to nourish her brain, and from there her disorder would improve...but this young lady said something very profound. "But how?" And she started crying and repeated the question. She didn't know how to go about overcoming her disorder, breaking out of her self destructive rut, and "nourish her brain." Oprah said she realized, at that moment, you can tell someone what to do, but sometimes that's not enough...you have to show them. And that's when I had MY own "a-ha" moment, of the same nature.

This was my Facebook status, after watching Oprah today:

"telling someone WHAT to do, isn't enough. sometimes, you have to take the time to show them HOW to do it, because not every one knows."

Yeah, I can admit...I have absolutely NO idea what I'm doing, in any area of my life and I have no idea how to break out of this hell I'm living in, on a daily basis. I've shut myself off from the rest of the world, spending most of my time in my room (in the basement, which I don't mind at all), overwhelmed with the idea of going out and exploring the area that is now my home, and telling myself that I'm not loveable because I'm broken, and my own family and friends don't even bother with me. I don't know how to stop, and I don't know who to ask for guidance, other than Oprah...and her ass is leaving in 12 days. Pffftttt...I wonder if Dr. Phil is available?!

Exhaustion

How can I best describe this feeling I'm experiencing? I know...I am so emotionally exhausted, I feel dead inside. It takes an incredible amount of energy to watch your tongue and to keep your emotions in check so as not to upset certain people. Well, to be quite honest, it's giving me heartburn, and I'm tired of pretending that everything is okay, when I feel differently. The problem is, the people that I want to "hear" me, won't listen.

I am tired of broken promises, and empty words. I am tired of the lack of reciprocation and consideration to my feelings, and wants. My efforts and acts of love, respect and friendship don't feel appreciated and are most certainly, taken for granted. And it hurts. It hurts so much that it's become numb.

I feel very alone right now. Obviously, I'm not having a very good day. If I can just get through to tomorrow...another morning, another day of pretending. *sigh*

Introductions

Hello There! My name is Jo, and thanks for stopping by my blog. In the 38 years I've been on this planet, I've had some pretty cool and memorable experiences. Like when in 2005, I just picked up and volunteered with the Red Cross for 3 weeks, when hurricanes Katrina and Rita hit. Before then, I had never been away from home, my family or friends any longer than a long weekend. It was such an AMAZING experience, and I will never forget it OR the folks I met down there. But I'm getting off track.

I'm going to blog about whatever the hell I want to blog about. Random thoughts, Hot Topics, Current Events, My History, whatever...this is my space to express what is on my mind...my truth. So there you go. I've kept it short for now, but thanks for stopping by. God Bless! ~ Jo